Sounds to me like you are overwhelmed and very depressed, Shangarla. That's how I behaved when I was in the throws of depression. Sometimes, I have a day or two like that now.
Are you seeing a T? Are you on any anti-depression meds? If not, I'd talk to your MD at the very least.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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