I used to be part of another forum, when I chose to leave I exchanged email addresses with a few people. After a couple exchanges they just forgot about me. Now after more than a year someone seemingly emails me out of the blue - they asked if I remembered them and how I was. I write back and say I remember them, how I'm doing, and then ask how they are in turn. It's been over a week and they haven't replied. I know they have been online because I checked on the forum I knew the person from.

It makes me wonder if they were expecting or even hoping that I would send back some whiney reply saying how horrible things are.

It really hurts when people pretend to have an interest in me then just blows me off. It really hurts when people claim to be my friend but then abandon me.

It angers me that I'm supposed to grow beyond the pain of my childhood when I'm just as insignificant now as I was as a child.

Putting on a happy face, being positive, acknowledging the better aspects of my life - none of it has ever gained me a thing. Nothing gains me anything. People like me, when we are happy we don't appear to need people enough for anyone to care about us. When we are as I am now, we are too difficult to bother with. It's a stinking lose - lose situation.

I'm a human being - with feelings - what do I have to do to get people to treat me as anything but dirt?