I have avoided this board bacuaes I thought it would trigger me ......

but i am disassociating a lot and ended up here - dont know how.... just answring threads and then suddenly realised thwer I was....

and everything everyone is saying makes sense to me...

I have memories coming back an I dont knowif they are real - they are bad - I wont mention them here - I was SA by my brother I remember that - funny - you forget your childhood but remember that one instance....

Now if I believe what I remember - there is more.... i dont want to remember it - but it is coming through - only bits ... and i dont know if its real - if its not then I must be one sick puppy! and if it is..... then will I ever be able to wash the stain from my soul...

she was so young...

sorry I prob dont belong here either....