I have been going through a major depression and high anxiety and in the middle of this went through withdrawal from benzos. During the withdrawal I started having feelings for my ex who has remained my best friend even though we split up a year and a half ago. All through the last year I felt I would never go back with him because of what he did to me and our relationship, a big trust issue. Now I am actually thinking about rekindling that spark but I dont know if this just a need for human contact or true love ( I always knew he was my soulmate, but is he just a friend???)
Now I have these feelings for him, dont really know what they are and I am worried because it seems I have just woken up from a long sleep and I have all these feelings and emotions. He says he has never stopped loving me and he is willing to wait since I have a lot of issues to deal with before I go there! I feel like I havent dealt with anything for a couple of years now, I just kept on going, doing things that had to be done, going to work, sleeping, eating and just trying to survive but no feelings or emotions involved.
I am going back to work on june 1st after a 2 month leave of absence and that is my priority but I am so worried about everything else: ex, daughters, my mental health etc...that I cannot deal with anything and I am getting very mixed up, I am an all or nothing kind of person so I have to be very careful with my actions since there is so much involved here.
I feel like a 50yr old child....