I wasn't sure if I should put this thread here or in the relationship forum. This may be a little long.

Background: I moved away from home as quickly as possible by moving to the other side of the country for college and stayed there. My parents were emotionally and verbally abusive when I was growing up. When I was in college after going home for winter break I would go into a deep depression. I still have a lot of trouble talking to them on the phone.

Now: Part One: My dad (who was more neglectful and just did not stop my mom being abusive) wants to travel with me when I am go to college (a couple day drive) I am not sure that I want to spend that amount of time with him in an enclosed space. It is very hard to deal with him as he always thinks he is right, even on topics he knows nothing about. I don't know if I can deal with him by myself for that amount of time and may need the space in my car to hold my belongings. However, I don't know if I want to do that much traveling by myself.

Part two: I just got an email from my dad with plans for my parents to come visit for five days (a month before I move). I spent twenty four hours at home when I went on a ski trip with my brother and father. That was very hard. I find it extremely stressful to be around my parents. I don't know that I want to see them. I feel like they return to treating me like a child. When they visited last time I told my dad that for once in his life he needed to keep my mother and her mouth under control or I would leave them wherever they were in the city and that would be the end of their visit with me. He said (as usual) that he was not going to do anything to keep her from being abusive towards me even though they are the ones who want to visit. I would be fine with us only talking on the phone.

I just don't know if I can deal with them visiting again. I moved across the country so that I wouldn't have to see them all the time, and now this is the second time they want to see me in six months. But I don't know if I can tell them not to come. I feel like we just keep replaying the abusive patters from when I was a kid and I tried to do everything right so I wouldn't get in trouble.

Am I the only one who feels like it is safer to stay away from ones parents but has trouble saying no to them. I feel like I can't get away from them even though I am a continent away from them.