((((((((((( Elysium )))))))))))))

I so understand where you are coming from here. It's a rotten place to have to be that's for sure...and I'm sorry it's happening to you.

I think sometimes we have to look at our lives and decide what we need to do for ourselves right this moment. While we don't want to be dependent or lazy or just plain existing, sometimes we have to accept what help there is in order to become stable enough to work towards our goals in the future. Just because you apply for disability doesn't mean you will be like your mother. There are other things you can do while on disability to help yourself in the future.

The needs of the present may very well outweigh the wants of the future. And that's ok....it's a fork in the road, a different path to take, but it doesn't mean you can't end up in the place you wanted to head towards to begin with. Be willing to keep your eyes open and ears listening for opportunities that my cross your path in the mean time.

You are an intelligent human bean that I have no doubt can and will be successful in so many aspects of your life. Be kind to yourself along the way on those bumps that throw you off......

Wishing you well!

sabby