Oh bebop!! I'm sending you gentle hugs--I know how you feel, sort of....thank goodness I am still able to work, but I too am mourning the person I used to be--at least I was until I read your post and saw you said, "...the woman..." you used to be and it hit me that we are still the same women we were, we just can't do the same things and we have this new lovely BFF that won't leave---depression. Like muffy said, you are still the same down inside, your spirit and heart and soul. It is terribly difficult not to be able to do the fun things. I, too, wish there were a magic wand to wave. I do hope that the depression doesn't keep you from seeing the terrific person you still are, despite the depression, despite the pain.