It just seems to be a series of events, each one I find a sense of blame in.....
thats what people prob taught you - that things were your fault when they werent

Why didn't I stop the kids last week sooner? Why do I let my daughter go into that house when there are angry people there who curse and yell so often? Why didn't I help my dad more with his health issues, so he didn't drop dead in front of my daughter 2 years ago?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing - there are so many things I would have changed if I had a time machine - but we dont - you did the best you could at the time and thats all you could do .. thats all any of us can do ....

It's just flooding in......

Sorry....

I am doing 'so-so' at the moment....I am at work, trying to focus. I was feeling a huge amount of anxiety and panic during lunch, so I decided to take a nice long walk. It helped a little.

Good on you for trying to ground yourself - yeah for you ! !!!

I can't seem to shake the panic....the fear....but I am ok.