He is clearly attempting to manipulate you, when the beaten, needy husband routine did not work he attempted the control route. He's already shown that his opinion is suspect, so don't even give his insults and attempts to scare you another thought. BECAUSE you have children you have an extra obligation to ensure that they have a safe peaceful home, that they learn how they should treat their mates and how they should be treated.

When you start feeling the fear, remember that you're doing this not only for yourself but for your kids. You'll find the strength and courage.