Quote:
Originally Posted by jbug
How would you approach this situation?
I am on HUD housing assistance and am being inspected on Monday for my yearly review to make sure I am still eligible for assistance. No big deal it happens every year and I always am and life goes on.
Well this year my dad is freaking out and sent my mom over to help me clean for it. I was out at my parents house today to help my mom clean like I do every week and am expected to do so or I don't get any money from them. So I do what I am supposed to and come home. Well I'm sitting at my kitchen table working on my Mother's day card for my Grandma and my mom shows up. She told me that my dad sent her over because he thinks I need help to get ready for inspection. Lately I guess he thinks I live in squalor or something so he sent mom over to help me get ready. The wierd thing is he was just over here on Tuesday and told me my apartment didn't look to bad..he told me a few things that need help and I told him I would work on them. When I was out there today he asked me how they were coming and I told them fine and that they looked a whole lot better. Well I guess I'm just not trustworthy enough or good enough to do it on my own.
I have done these inspections for the last 2 years and have been complimented both times on how clean my apartment is and have been passed. I don't see why all of a sudden I need help to get it clean.
Yes it was nice to have help but my mom goes nuts when she cleans and it gets really bad before it gets better and when it gets really bad my OCD kicks in and I get very stressed and I get angry and start becoming a *****. I apologized several times today for becoming that way and she said she knows that I have troubles that way and she anticipated that it would happen. I also realized about an hour into it that I hadn't taken my morning meds so I took them but they didn't work while she was here.
So how would you deal with this? I want to say something to my dad about it but don't know what to say without coming off as an ungrateful child. I am kind of thankful that my mom came over because she did get my kitchen floor clean but I felt like he didn't trust that I could actually do it on my own.
Jan
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Hey Jan (((((JBUG)))))
I'm almost 100% positive that HUD eligibility isn't fact contingent on how clean your HUD residence is. Unless, it is?
Sounds like your parents are really great for helping you and in their own way trying to be supportive, but they seem to assume you are a child and must then be treated like a child? I'm not sure, I'm just guessing. Ideally parents empower their children, and with adult children they certainly have no right to impose their will on them, don't you think?
I'd just say, "Mom, Dad, thanks so much, but really I'm fine and don't need help, but I'll call you up ASAP if I get in over my head!" Another option would be to just suck it up this time if your on a short time frame between now and the inspection and your behind.
My thoughts alone here---I'm pretty sure you can handle this on your own, but it's letting the parents know they are appreciated but not needed that seems tricky for you.
