phoenix7

i know how you feel. ive been SA by my brother since i was 8. ive been how you are. ive tried denying it, ive tried making excuses for him, and ive tried accepting it but it feels all the same and hurts just as bad. sometimes i get exhausted and sleep all day and sometimes i dont sleep at all for the same reason that you dont sleep. fear of it happening again and playing over and over in my head. the feeling of worthlessness and disgust no matter what you do
what happened to you wasnt your fault and no one deserves it. i thought i did at first but then i realized that what happened cant be changed and theres no use beating yourself up over itso maybe i can use what happened to me for good. maybe i could help keep other people from having to go through the same thing. sometimes i get down and dont even want to be alive but you got to keep moving forward and things can get better. it may not seem like it now but they can get better if you just believe. theres nothing to be ashamed of and your not useless. you deserve nothing but good things. i hope things get better for you and i hope you find a T that you can trust and that can help you deal with what happened.