Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix7
shouldnt anyway cos Im trying to lose weight.....but it protects me.... no-one will want me if I am this way ... makes the outside like the inside.... unwelcome.. unloved.. because I am un lovable ....
silly sillly phoenix - get over it - 
the world.... knows I dont fit in... and thats ok ..... I cant keep trying to be someone im not . |
My dearest Phoenix! You are very lovable because I love you a lot! You fit in here very, very well!
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix7
I have tried to shut this down again - but when I lay in bed some body memories come back to me - every night!  I have tried denying them - I have tried accepting them - but they keep re-occurring every night...
and I am more tired than ever cos I am not going to bed cos I am afraid of what I will feel......
wrote to old T to see if he would take me back - said he didnt have to reply if he couldnt and ... he didnt reply.... you get what you ask for and what you deserve sometimes.... I know its not - but it feels like someone else has abandoned me - I know thats wrong - but it feels like another person has confirmed how worhtless and ...... soiled I am ...
I wil ring about another T next week.. and start again.... maybe this time I will find one that won't leave... and that wont be disgusted when they see the real me . |
You don't know why that T hasn't contacted you. There could be all sorts of reasons. I am glad that you are still looking for therapy! Therapy is very important for you to get through these memories. Have you ever addressed these memories in therapy before?