This week we talked about emotions and Distress Tolerance. Distress tolerance strategies are for getting through the moment, or surviving a crisis. They are a temporary solution, and should not replace managing the situation and/or your emotional reactions. But it isn't always the right time to stop and process emotions. Also, if you get overwhelmed with your feelings or whatever is going on, you can stop and take a break and get back to it later.

So, in your mind, you can have a closet. On that closet, there is a top shelf. You can keep a box on that top shelf in the closet for putting your emotions in when you need to put them away until later. The thing is, you do need to come back and get them out of the box and deal with them. Don't let them pile up in there and overflow or burst out.

Emotions have a purpose. They come from somewhere, for a good reason, and they have something important to tell you. Even if you, like most of us, were taught that you couldn't have your emotions or that it wasn't safe to feel them, you need your emotions. They are an important part of what makes you who you are. They could be trying to tell you something, or to help you to communicate to someone else, or to motivate you to do something. Observe your emotions. Take a step back from them and see what you feel in your body, where it is, how it shows on your face, in your body language, in your words, etc. What does the emotion want you to do? You don't have to act on the action urges, but it helps to know where they are coming from. They you can be in control and decide what to do with it.

When you need to get through intense emotions and painful situations, you can use distress tolerance. Some of these skills build on accepting what you feel and what is happening around you. Some are about distracting, and self-soothing. There are a lot of things that you can try, so find something that works for you, and try a few that you haven't done before too.

Distracting (Wise Mind ACCEPTS )
Activities - go do something, exercise, play a game, call someone, ...
Contributing - do something to help someone else
Comparisons - compare yourself to others coping like you are, or someone less fortunate
opposite Emotions - read something or listen to music or watch a movie that creates different emotions
Pushing away - leave the situation and come back to it, or block it out of your mind for a while
Thoughts - count to ten, do a puzzle, count all the colors you can see, read, ...
Sensations - hold ice, squeeze a rubber ball, take a hot or cold shower, listen to loud music, ...

You can use the 5 senses to sooth yourself. Find something beautiful, listen to music or nature sounds, sing, put on perfume or lotion, get a scented candle, eat chocolate or peppermint candy or gum or a treat, take a bubble bath, pet the cat or dog, get a massage, ...

Some other great strategies to IMPROVE the moment:
Imagery, visualization, go to a safe place in your mind
Meaning - find purpose and remember your values and what you are living for
Prayer - especially for acceptance, or turning things over to God
Relaxation
One thing in the moment - remind yourself you just have to get through this moment right now
Vacation from adulthood (as long as you are responsible and don't check out for too long and make sure your responsibilities are covered).
Encouragement - cheerlead yourself and tell yourself you can do this, and you are doing the best that you can, and it won't last forever.

Also try making a list of the Pros and Cons of tolerating or not tolerating the distress, short term and long term. Focus on your goals, and the light at the end of the tunnel.