Hi again Elspeth. Muffy and justfloating said what I had to say. I want to emphasize that you should not compare yourself with anyone else here, except in good ways that help you relate.

What seems "minor" or "not that big a deal" to one person can be pretty devastating to another. Be glad you haven't had the really bad experiences some here have had, but do not discount your own feelings.

I can hear your pain and frustration. I think you need to find someone that you feel comfortable with - a professional - and get real honest about your feelings. Anyone, especially a professional therapist of any type, who would give you the impression that you and your problems are no big deal needs to be ignored and looked on with distain. You need help. You DESERVE help. I hope you will find help and take good care of yourself. And keep posting here to make friends and let us know how you are doing.