Peaches, I have been working on this myself. My T says I need to grieve the past, acknowledge those needs will never be met by the people from my past, and that will help make room for something else. It is hard, and for me, I've had to go at it pretty slowly. I think about it sometimes and then leave it alone for a while, so it doesn't become so overwhelming. I think it has helped my relationship in T though -- for the most part, I'm less demanding/it feels less urgent because I understand that it's not really about her, it's about me and feelings coming from me about the past. That she's just a person doing the best she can to help me. Anyway, I hope you can find some peace from all these difficult feelings. Hang in there.