(((((((((((((((((((deli)))))))))))))))))))

I agree with what you wrote. Once I accepted that I couldn't literally go back to my childhood and get what I needed, I was able to see how much T was giving to me. Now that I've let myself open up to his love and caring, it really does fill me up. He does look after me, and no one has before, and it feels good.

Once I felt sleepy in session and told him that I wanted to take a nap, and he told me, "go ahead, I'll watch over you". And a little bit of that hole was filled.

Bit by bit his loving and caring has made me believe that maybe, MAYBE *I* am *worth* caring for. And then it is easier to care a bit for myself. And to accept the love that comes from others around me (H, friends, kids). I was absolutely closed off to love before T. No matter how much people told me they loved me, it couldn't get in. Now, it can get in a little bit. And I am able to even care for myself a bit too.

It's been a slow process with a lot of ups and downs. But it feels like healing.