***TRIGGER***

I forgot to put a trigger icon on this post. And i don't know how to now, can someone put one on for me? ta.



I want to cut up my arm.
I want blood to pour.
I want to be destructive.

The only reason i'm not doing it right this second is that i am going on holiday in 2 wks with friends and my scars are bad enough without adding fresh cuts.

I'm drinking again because my emotions feel so out of control. And drinking makes everything blurry and unreal.

I don't want to be good or healthy, or responsibe or cope.

I want to be destructive and cause havoc.

I want to cause pain.

I hate this life. I hate that i was born.
I hate that i am this person and that it is my fault i am in this much pain because i can't 'deal' with my emotions like every other normal person!!

I am obviously emotionally inept, unintelligent, weak and lazy because i am dictated by my moods and never learnt to deal with them properly.

I hate.