hi jj, i used to be much the same way until in therapy i discovered i can't control others or how they behave/act. i have high expectations of myself and was imposing the same on other ppl. now that i realize that i have to adapt somewhat to the world i live in, i find it is easier to live and let live or simply put, let it roll off my back. it has helped me a lot to practice this principle. i find i don't get angry as much, depressed,etc.
as for isolating and beating yourself up, i can relate to that too. try to be kinder to yourself. we, none of us, are perfect. we make mistakes along the way. the important thing is that we are develping more self awareness and can learn from ourselves.
hope this helps.