Hi there, Welcome!! My sons father was a heroin addict and when we met, he was off and on methadone. I would treat it as you would any other medication......I know you think of it as not being clean but I am sure you know intellectually, that it is not the same as using. From my experience, half of the addiction is the needle. May not be true for you. I battled alongside him with this demon for many years, even after we broke up. He was in and out of jail and terible to me and my son. we didn't see him for years. He also developed major health issues from unclean needles and the like.

It heartens me so much to hear of people like you fighting this and taking action. Even if you struggle with the concept of methadone, stay on it as part of your therapy. You are a very brave and honourable person.

Sorry if this upsets you, but I feel very strongly about people getting the right help with this addiction. My sons father died on Xmas day 2008 from suspected suicide from drug overdose. His girlfriend is distraught. we thought he was doing okay. Don't know if it was heroin but it seems that he had is hand in whatever he could get. he just did not want to get better at the end of the day. Now you understand why I want to give you the best of luck in recovery and health and hope that you are getting all the help you need.

My thoughts are with you.......