Abby, because of everything that has happened to you and all the support and understanding that you did not get, this is why you find yourself where you are today. If you layed it all out and looked at it, it would make perfect sense why you are where you are today. You didn't choose your family. You didn't choose what happened to you and it wasn't your fault that you didn't get enough help and understanding to make sense of everything.

You can start to understand everything today, however. It takes time and a lot of work but if you get the proper help you can do it. Without help and info from a good therapist it is very difficult if not impossible to heal.

I am sorry that you are in distress.......