In some ways I am the cause of my present distress. Two nights ago I was following a thread on a different forum. I think I may have witnessed through a forum a successful suicide. Now I am worrying about her and it is effecting my mood. For some reason I keep going back to see what other people have posted. I am actually pulling myself down. Maybe because my life is so dull and lifeless anymore, I do this to get myself to feel something and get outside of myself. What a miserable life I have now. Most of my days anymore are watching TV and posting on the forums. Sometimes I will go days in the same clothes not caring about anything. I am pathetic.