my little bubble is breaking apart.

I feel like I'm falling apart , melting and freezing on the outside all at once... the hard shell is starting to come back on already.

That shell that I've FINALLY been shrugging off so that I can live and not hurt so much.

I was fully expecting to remain in this area this summer... now I am forced to return home, put on the shell before I'm ready... I don't know if I can return to school next semester and if I can't it'll be from now until January *which will break me for sure, if the summer doesn't*.

I feel like I can't bear to keep phone contact up with my bf while we're apart but at the same time how can I not? I just don't know what to do

I feel so helpless right now... like all the work I've done over that past 6 months is falling around me and crashing into a gazzilion pieces