Im struggling Notz..... I am trying to keep busy - trying to just feel this and let it past - but its not going...... I know what will ground me but I am still holding out ..... its only day 1 with no SI - I have to be able to last a day or..... second by second....
I feel like I cant handle this...but I will, I will, I will, I will...... wish I could run away from me..... wish I could just turn into a phoenix and fly away... disappear into the sky....
I should be better - I have my T appt arranged on the 1st june now - pdoc tomorrow... what the heck is wrong with me!!! ... sorry.... sorry.....
I just wish I wasnt alone here..... I guess you get what you ask for lol
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Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet