(((((peaches)))))
I hope your new revelation will help with your movement forward and healing.
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Originally Posted by TayQuincy
I feel kinda sad when people say they have to learn how to fill themselves up, alone. Yes, no one person can fill you up but to take care of your own needs doesn't mean you are doing it alone. In alot of ways my T is part of how i am able to fill myself up, as are many other people in my life. It's not some magic thing they do to me, it is part of having caring relationships. My T cares a lot about me, and that "fills me up" to a certain extent.
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That's kind of how I feel too. I never had an expectation that my T would completely fill the hole inside. Maybe I'm not as honest as some of you. My T is very caring and we are very close. I really like our relationship and don't wish it were different. Maybe I just have lower expectations than some people, the if-I-don't-expect-much-I-won't-be-disappointed attitude. I know this is a protective mechanism. Sometimes I do feel like a dog, cowering and wagging its tail, scarfing up scraps that are thrown my way. From that mindset, what T has given me is phenomenal. I don't have to beg for scraps. He just gives freely and willingly! One day, he fed me a loaf of carrot cake.
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My T says I need to grieve the past, acknowledge those needs will never be met by the people from my past, and that will help make room for something else.
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I do strongly relate to this statement, in regard to my H and my failed marriage. 20+ years of unfulfillment. I do have a lot of pain and grief about that. I do wish I were done grieving. I do just want to leave the ache behind. I get impatient with myself that it takes so long. I don't really see T as filling that same need, but it is really great to have him to share my pain with and to be with me when I grieve, to have him along on my journey.