this is kind of weird for me because i told my pdoc about this stuff last week. i've been seeing him for 5 years.

he was amazing and he was good and he believed me. this week (just today) i went back and said i was worried that i might have told some lies... i wasn't sure of the memories anymore... maybe i made them up.

but he still believed me. said it would be ok, and that i was safe with him. said it didnt matter to him if they were 100% accurate or not, what mattered is that something happened, and i am still reacting to it today.

what triggered all of this is that someone asked me out on a date. it has been very slow, but i am still seeing that person. pdoc is helping me understand my reactions and im getting a bit of hope that one day i will be able to have a safe relationship that i want to stay in.