I managed to get some sleep last night, didn't wakeup before my alarm, but still didn't sleep until about 1.30am, but that's better than it has been so I had more sleep.

I feel very sick and weak today, despite eating yesterday. I'm sticking to just smoothies today. I don't even know if I can keep them down, but it's worth a try I guess.

I haven't been able to function or think clearly at all.. This morning at breakfast club, I dropped the tea bags everywhere, I dropped a tea towel on the floor, I got myself soaked washing up and I dropped the fruit bowl (luckily it was a metal bowl). I got aso annoyed with myself, because not too soon after I dropped the milk too. I'm so clumsy today and it's really doing my head in. Yesterday I burnt the toast twice in a row because I forgot about it and wasn't able to concentrate. It's getting worse and worse and it makes me more stressed and frustrated and I just. Grrrr. I hate it.

I mean.. I had a good-ish morning this morning because Taz came to breakfast club and we started being really random and messing around, so that kept my spirits up. She just laughed everytime I dropped something which made me laugh through the frustration and it was nice to be able to laugh with someone at breakfast club for once, although someone else did get grumpy and walked off. Sigh.

I was going to try and go back to sleep for an hour this morning, but my head is buzzing, I have a throbbing headache and I just feel exhausted but unable to rest at all. Great when I have an interview today... Lucky I have it all planned out what I'll be saying.

I'm going to try the hot shower tonight because the chest pains keep coming back whenever I get stressed out, so need to sort that out and a hot shower will help apparently.

I have a friend coming over tonight for the weekend because she's having trouble with her fiance, so that'll be someone to keep me going over the weekend and hopefully help me with the packing up of my stuff! I should find out tonight at around 5.30pm whether I'm moving out of hereand when. It'll either be this Monday (25th May), or next Monday (1st June) which will be brilliant because I'll have reached my goal of being out of here by the time I'm 18! Woohoo!

Ughhhhh.. I just hope that I'm not sick today. I don't want to be ill. I don't want to be weak stomached for my interview, or look rough or anything. Abi's phoning around places with me today---yesterday was the first time we spent more than an hour in our key support session!!---to sort out money to get all the essentials and such for me when I move in. We also had a good giggle yesterday, which was nice.

When we sa down first of all, she said "Have you been okay?" and I lied. I said that I've been fine. Oops. "I don't think you have somehow... You've looked really stressed and downhearted over the past few days. What's been going on?" Dammit.
So I explained about everything and she said that all the stuff I was saying to her was a sign that I'm maturing even more, becoming more cynical and growing up more - becoming more of an adult, which isn't a bad thing because I help others far too much more than I help myself, so me feeling more unsympathetic to some of the people I normally help's problems, is just a sign that I'm going to start taking more care of myself. I still don't like it though... Makes me feel guilty

It's just nice to know that Abi wants to take the time out of her day to help me - finally! and to just make sure that I'm okay. I was feeling a little better last night, just felt ill and weak... And still do.