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May 22, 2009, 01:00 PM
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Member Since: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 120
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Dear LadyMacbeth ... 
I'm sure you feel like you are going crazy, but you are not. It is your body and soul that is rebelling against what you are making yourself do, that you really don't want to do. The anxiety, the rage is something deep inside you. You haven't completely dealt with it yet. Perhaps have not been completely and fully honest with yourself.
Possibly it is post traumatic stress from your physical abuse earlier on. You say you have been to counselling, however the counsellor is not understanding you, I think. And this brings on more rage and frustration.
This is how I am reading your situation. But I am not a counsellor or pyschologist. Some light medication to help with anxiety would help during this time of reconciling yourself to whatever you must do. Try a new counsellor, perhaps. Get a new perspective on this. This is only an idea. Only you can say if any of my words resonate within you.
I wish you well. Blessings ...
__________________
Claudia
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