Yes, MeSo, poor dear, given with all sincerity. If it was safe and if some parts of you wanted it, some safe person should stroke your soft head and hold you. I believe everything you have said and i know you don't have "proof" but you know your truth, you can feel it. This isn't new, you can't go on for years and years about something that really isn't true, can you?
One thing I am grateful for on your behalf is that you have the report because most of time it is impossible to get records from childhood. hospitals and doctors often don't keep things for more than 10 years. You have something concrete and I really encourage you, when you are able, to have this report interpreted and have the test repeated. If you have a good family doctor who has some compassion and understanding, she/he will refer you to a specialist to do an interpretation and/or a repeat of the test. I've had that test. If you don't remember, they ask you to stay awake all night and then go early in the morning for the EEG. I think you know that means a cap and electrodes, but nothing covers your face, there are no kinds of things that restrain, the room is quiet and lighting dim. There will be a technician but no one else and you might even be able to ask that a safe person remain with you. I can't see why that couldn't happen.For part of the test they flash lights at you and make you hyperventilate. That can be uncomfportable but it is only for 5 minutes. At the end they ask you to rest and try to go to sleep - I didn't, but that was still okay. Maybe others who have had this test will remember more about it than I have.
It's just something to think about. Knowing that you CAN do something, even if you don't choose to can help lower the emotional noise. You have been through a lot lately and probably have other stuff going on that you haven't talked about. Sometimes when I hear something that pertains to me I get the urge to run off and take care of it Right away. I'm learning that it's often better to take some time to think it through. Will you do that, just rest and think about it?
I am here for you, as you need or wish. You know how to find me.if safe