Mood switches, danger zone. Did all i could first - clawed self with fingernails, nearly cheated severely on medical diet, called t and left message, ate something on diet that i like (sweet potato fries) for dinner, tried to breathe and talk self through, hit head on wall out of dispair, hugged cat for a long time, watched "dangerous" triggering movie but it all only made it worse.

not mad about it... shakey i guess since there was more blood than usual (no worries all - is taken care of), bummed that i relapsed or rather never really quit this week, forgot (again) to take meds on time *sigh*, am panicked that t will drop me since i'm "not better yet". @_@ am scared to tell her any of this.