Hi, September told me about this subject since I have been away for
a while, I hate to interrupt anything. but I have read most of what was
written, and I am replying to your question , I suffered abuse as a child
and right now I am fighting that demon, by talking to my counselor and
psychiatrist.... They both tel me that explains the way I am. I have a
poor self esteem, and other ways that may have a big effect on the
way I have such a hard time getting involved with people, especially
the opposite sex.. I applaud you for fighting your demon....
I am trying, but I know that I can't talk to my father about it has he has
shortened his memory and none of our childhood is as it was. My mother passed away 10 years ago, so I can't confront her either.

I can say that I am afraid of what comes out, and what I am supposed
to do with the gaping whole I feel after spilling my guts .. I feel very
vulnerable and find it very hard to be around my family, considering that
I can't discuss this with them so I have to put on a happy face and
grit my teeth and put on a act... Which is as exhausting as talking about
it.
Bevers

Bevers