But shame, your life isn't always going to be so hard...
what then??

No one can see into the future/we don't have guarantees, but life is still worth living. Hard times are that--hard, yes. time has a beginning and an ending...so my own thinking is trying to remember that nothing lasts forever, at some point it will get better.

Your feelings/your numbness are understandable and I would feel the same way...
The depression we struggle with will blind us to the fact that we can overcome more than we realize.

I'm having trouble putting my thoughts into words, and I offer my apology.
Looking back and not doing something that I should have done has been a powerful and destructive thing for me and to me.

Catherine