Quote:
Originally Posted by LLL1985
Nobody knows me...They think they know me, but nobody knows me.. I am too scared from everything that has happened since I was a child...Nobody knows me..When I try to open up and let someone know who i really am I get scared and I shut up and I do something to push them away.
i don't want to push people away anymore...I want someone to know me... I want someone to listen to me...but I do not want to be judged..But I am a borderline and I know nothing and I am crazy and anything I do I do for attention..
Why can no one see pass the borderline??? Nobody understands me...Why am I like this and does anyone really care or no?
Thank you,
Lacy
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Lacy, have you received any help with this dx? I wonder how far ahead you are in the disorder and how long you have lived with feeling this way......
I can't tell you how many times many of us on here have gone through what you are feeling right now.......or are still going through it......I am one of them for sure. The difference is, that I am aware of the process that goes on in my mind.......I also did not pay much attention to what other people thought, but I am an antagonistic stubborn soul, so my behaviour did not really do me any favours with the general population and I did not have any friends. However, it did save my life in more ways than one.
I am not saying that everyone should be like that.......everyones process is different.
All I know, is that I do not put up with crap, I have the people in my life that I want and my son, who is 14 now, is great considering all the trauma he has gone through with me. I have had BPD for 15 years. I sound like a broken record here, cause I have asked a couple of other people to do this, but have a read of a thread I started called "borderline Pride" on here. Also have read of all the wonderful contributions from people who struggle and triumph.
You are not alone.......and we hear you, loud and clear, babe
