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DoggyBonz · May 23, 2009, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix7

I - would rather be one of my kitties

I'll take being one of the dogs if that is an option -

This is a long reply...

P7 - you are human and what you are going through sounds really normal and frightening. You are making really awesome choices and stepping into the unknown and that is SCARY!!!

You are not rebounding you are reacting and it's the best you can do right now. If other options were there you would take them but at the moment you don't know how. Would you fault a 15 month old who is learning how to walk for falling down? Would you call that rebound?

Here is the great thing - that baby will keep trying and not think of themselves as a failure for learning how to walk unless someone tells them otherwise.

You were told you were a "bad, worthless, a failure" chose anyone of them. That was not something you chose to believe about yourself - it was something you were taught.

You are learning how to choose differently - thus my friend - you are NOT rebounding - you are reacting. That is not a choice - it's a reaction.

The point is - you are doing AWESOME - and this stuff is hard. It's spending time on a daily basis in that safe place, reprograming yourself to believe that you are worth it, being gentle with yourself when you make mistakes etc... it's spending at least 5 minutes a day being patient with yourself - or any of the above. It's looking at those flashcards and believing them.

BUT you have been living this way all your life so please give yourself a chance to learn new behaviors.

Making that appt., is HUGE!!!

It sounds like somewhere along the way you forgot to give yourself credit for taking those steps - you'll get there and be doing marathons - it just takes time and BEING GENTLE & FORGIVING WITH YOURSELF.

I hope this made sense - I am struggling many of the same issues - I don't mean to make it sound simple it's not - but you are worth it - and I am here to help if I can.