How is it that depression can still sneak in to my life, even when I'm surrounded by such a loving family and support system?

Before I moved back up with my aunt, uncle, and little cousins for the summer, I thought that a partial reason for my depression was a lack of connection and that I just needed to feel a sense of love. But now, I'm here... and although there are times where I feel better, there is something that is maintaining the depression.

Do you think its possible that while what I want and need so much is to be part of a loving family, by seeing one already formed (in which I am technically more on the exterior), it makes me long to be part of an immediate one even more so?

But then I feel selfish for feeling all of this, because I am fortunate to be where I am, and there are SOOO many positive things that I could choose to focus on.

I guess I just feel lost and frustrated because I have no idea what I'm looking for... all I know is that I still feel so depressed (for lack of a better word), even though I am in the most stimulating environment for me. I guess part of my hope for "recovery" is being challenged in my mind because before I came up here, I considered where I am now to be a very therapeutic environment.

ugh

Sorry for the rant... and sorry if this didn't make any sense. I just needed to get it out somehow because for me to try and tell this to my family... well it would just make me feel more ungrateful for being here.