Man, i just lost a post to you and it's hard for me to maintain my thoughts sometimes.

So...in condensed form, you could still go to your appt. if your doctor and you are comfortable with it but it would be quite understandable for you to want to reschedule. Rescheduling could give you an opportunity to change the parameters of the appointment. You could say something like, 'mom, i don't really want to have that exam while i'm on my period. i'll just change it to another time and have x(your friend if you want) come with me'.

Because i've had a less than ideal experience with this, if your doctor is a family physician who treats other members of your family (or even if she/he is not), you might want to first guage her/his idea of your right to confidentiality as a minor. While it might be a good thing for your mom to know of your abuse history, you should have the right to determine that for yourself if you don't feel safe. During the exam, you can have your friend by you and/or you can ask for a nurse or physician's assistant to be with you. A lot of times that part's a given because no one wants the legal pains of being alone with a vulnerable person.

i'm VERY sorry you have any cause for all your concerns as i recognize them very well. Only when i was your age i had no clue why i was so hurt and confused. i'm glad you're not also suffering so many lost years of forgotten shadows (however much we sometimes wish we didn't know them).

i hope it all works out for you.