wi-f .... I do so relate to the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" problem. I feel dogged by that at every turn. I have just now, at 54 yrs.old, gone to a doc and a therapist for the very first time for depression and anxiety and feel so mixed- on the one hand, relieved to be seeking help that's been a long time coming, and on the other hand, deeply ashamed and embarrassed about being "weak", "selfish", "jumping on a fad", and so many more hateful voices that would keep me miserable and barely functioning.

I'm grateful for those encouragements coming from here and some family and friends to stay with the meds and therapy, get a break, find out how it could feel to LIKE myself. and realize some Peace in my life.

I guess there's no easy answer. Shame is a terribly powerful task-master. I think there can be relief, though, in letting yourself be vulnerable and needy of help. It feels loving, somehow.

J