Jeannie, thanks for the words of support. They're much appreciated.

I've been on medication off and on since the birth of my son 12 years ago. More off than on because of my ex husband being so against treatment. Sexual side effects. Need I say more?

I'll go for a while on meds, things will even out, I'll taper off them. Things will go OK for a while and then I'll hit a speed bump, head into a depression, need meds, etc., etc. I think I need to just stay on the meds full time to avoid to bumps when I taper off. Especially now that my med has gone generic and it's affordable.

I just dread my ex finding out that I'm back on it because that means I can't handle the depression on my own and he could try to use it against me to get my kids away from me. But being off of it makes even little everyday setbacks seem unsurmountable some times. I'm sure others in here can relate to that as well