Hey Shaymus,

I like all your questions-- they're good ones to be asking, I think.

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Where is the line in not hating yourself for symptoms of mental illness and using it as an excuse for not moving forward?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> ---- Jeez, this is pretty much where I'm at, it's hard not hating myself for my illness-- and although I've never yet used it as an excuse-- because I blamed everyone and anything else but myself for it-- now- just this year, I see my dysfunctional thinking and see how it's messed up so many avenues in my life- that I'm becoming afraid to go forward-- for fear of making the same mistakes but now- being aware of it!! I'm kind of " frozen "-- does that make sense?

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Where is the line in self imposed limitations(possibly false) and realistic limitations?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> This is one I'm struggling figuring out with my T.-- every time I see things as a negative-or threat- and feel that fight or flight mode kick in...... he stops me and helps me to see how my thinking is flawed. self-imposed -vs- realistic limitations---- for me in some cases I'm needing help to figure it out. Guess I'm too used to running away!!-- It's always worked for me in the past-- my T. has been showing me that many of those times my running wasn't necessary--- I never saw it that way!

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Where is the line in taking responsibility for yourself and blaming others(parents, loved ones, etc) for reasons on why you act the way you do?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Now this line is much easier for me to see! I believe once a person is an adult and able to care for themselves then they become responsible FOR themselves. Sure I had a screwed up childhood- but once I started screwing up my adult life- it's me that did it-- I chose to not finish college-- sure my upbringing didn't foster me to believe in success- but no one forced me out of college-- * I * was the one that quit. I made choices that have made my life harder-- but I don't believe because I was abused as a child that gives me the right as an adult to not take responsibility for my life now. I've been caught in the same cycle in adulthood as when I was a child. My mom and siblings still treat me the same--- I married a man that also treats me that way-- as I was used to it. But just recently I'm trying to take responsibility for my life and not be the "victim" . It's a work in progress- but I see now that I did have the power all along-- just didn't know how to use it!!

Finding and working on these lines has only been possible for me through therapy. Sometimes I hate my therapist as he tells it like it is-- but then I usually come around seeing that he's right and I appreciate the power and insight I'm gaining -- ever so slowly -- in myself. It's very hard and sometimes those lines do still get blurry as old habits seep back in!

Wow, I don't think I've ever written this much before-- must be feeling a bit more comfortable today .

Mandy
( Oh, I don't know, after re-reading all this... I'm getting nervous to submit it..... I so don't want to make anyone mad for what I've said)..... ..... " feel the fear and do it anyway"............
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