the little i can remember about what i thought about it before i actually was depressed was thinking that it was purely just "feeling a bit *insert swearword here*. which is probably the same for many people that havent experienced it.
im fifteen and ive now had about a year and a half of this. its been getting worse and its pretty much caused most of my life to break down.
i need to explain it to my boyfriend tomorrow - i cant bear my anxiety related to going outside and letting him down without any proper explanation, my failing at school and my low self esteem tear apart what i think is one of the only good things i have left. and as far as i can see it he'll think of it in one of two ways.
1) he'll think im insane and will run a mile at the "baggage", throwing away six months of whats been keeping me going.
2) he will see it as i used to see depression and think "whats the big deal? why cant she just pull her socks up and get on with it?"

im also now going to talk to my counsellor and gp a lot more about antidepressants, seeing as i dismissed them pretty quickly.

can anyone help me find a way to explain this to him? he is incredibly smart and all, but i know that understanding when youve never experienced it is hard.
thanks guys,
x