I think he's mentally abusing you and that is just wrong. I'm am so sorry to hear about your incident and hope your counseling helps ease the pain.

May I ask why you feel you will lose your kids? I doubt a judge is going to look down upon you for getting help after being raped. If you were to explain the severity of the rape he would possibly see you as a very strong woman that is able to deal with very large issues and crisis. This is a positive characteristic to possess. I wonder how your husband would be dealing with life right now if that happened to him? You're obviously a very STRONG person for being able to deal with this, I don't know if I could have.

Welcome and hugs,

Missi