Cheers, thanks babe.......phew!! I was a bit worried there!! sometimes the limits of technology in expressing myself in the RIGHT way......The problem with transference is that you really need a trained professional to help you analyse it(back to the therapist again!! Sorry). Transference, or the acknowledgement of, can be a very painful process. I am not qualified to navigate you through this treacherous terrain, however I can support you in your decisions and have open discussions about how you feel......as far as getting into the nitty gritty of psychological interpretation, I have to be very careful here. The wrong information can be just as dangerous as no information.......so bare with me if you can and please understand my therapeutic boundaries. I am not being openly dismissive.

As for my Taoist quote, I know you do not want to find yourself, but inevitably, you are already on the path......and as terrifying and as bottomless as you feel.......it will eventually lead to freedom, freedom of self. It is not about whether you want to hear it or not......you only gain something FROM something if you are READY to hear it. No expectations sweetie........trust your process, and I say again, stay alive!!!