thanks Elysium, i was abit afraid no one would reply thinking im abit crazy, have not been in T very long, some things have got worse, havent told T, fear that he may want to give up on helping me, no one wants someone getting worse, i know how it sounds, but feels so real, your words are so re-assuring..... Skeksi, thanks, helps to know not alone, not the only passenger out there