Thank you Sannah. I'm feeling a little less guilty, although this morning was horrid. I came in to do breakfast club after Connor and I struggling to sleep last night, and one of the girls was crying. It was horrible when i found out why. Her Mother died this morning and every time I saw her cry (I'm one of those people), it makes me want to cry! grr. But yeah. It was really uncomfortable and just hard to know what to do or say. I mean... I know how it feels to have a parent die, or a foster parent - someone that you're very close to and stuff, but I was very young when my Dad died, so I didn't understand it and still haven't properly grieved and stuff, you know...? So I found it hard seeing her cry for her Mum and stand there feeling like there's nothing I can do. I didn't want to hug her because I knew that'd make her worse, I didn't want to try and comfort her because I knew that this would also make her worse, so I had to give her that sympathetic look and just listen... Which I know I'm good at.

Bleehhhh. This morning has been a tough 'un already, but I just gotta keep truckin' on and get on with sorting out my flat. All my muscles ache after carrying boxes up 3 flights of stairs yesterday and doing lots of running around. Connor had to make me stop because he could see that I was exhausted and just stressing myself out even more... I didn't like it at first but am glad of it now because I'm aching this morning and feel weak etc. So yeah. I'm tired.

And I phoned my Mum yesterday, she said she'd left me a voicemail saying why she hadn't phoned me and stuff... She's been in hospital for 2 weeks. She tripped and feel, breaking her hip. She hadthat fixed, but got an infection whilst in hospital so had to stay there even longer. Dammit! So she came out on Friday and her leg's only just healed from when she fell over when she came to see me over 2 months ago. So she's in the wars and sore and stuff. More stuff to add to my rucksack of rocks! I have yet to call Sian and find out when our appointment is tomorrow so I can let off some steam and drop some of these rocks in my rucksack.

I hope today's a better day.