It's hard sometimes to think of this as a somewhat abusive relationship....only because everything started out so good and possitive. I always think back on that and i'm always hoping things will go back to the way they were. sometimes this all seems like a big fat colossal joke. and i'm the punch line. But it's very hard right now. but i know it might get easier over time...I really fell in love with him too. Sometimes I think i'm destined to be alone. And that's a shame. too many people put your worth as a person based on what kind of job you have and how many wonderful things you have. He's always made sure I knew how much the one before had and gave him. I don't have a pot to pee in,,,and the people in my group therapy don't really seem to help me feel better half the time....But thank you so much for listening to me. !!!!