The memories of my abuse having been immerging. I am OCD, PTSD, pos bp, have had hallucinations since age 11 or so (not frequent), dissociative, etc. Two nights ago I had my first graphic dream about my abuse. When I was dissociative it was after going to a support group and hearing a woman tell about both her parents and then her pastor abusing her. I didn't understand at the time why I would have such a reaction. I had no memory of the actual abuse. But I knew something was terribly wrong. (that's why I was at the group). I was about 35 at that time. Well, anyway, the dream I had involved my mother and my father. I actually had physical sensations. A few years ago out of the blue my father told me, while he was laughing, that he took me and my mother to an XXX rated film at a drive-in theatre. I have NO memory of this. I was 44 when he told me. I am 48 now and I just had this dream. What I'm trying so ineptly to say is that ALL my life I have been struggling and it has taken until now for my terrorized self to be able to handle the memory of the actual act, at least something of it. It was a totally sh*tty night of sleep for me but I feel like I'm finally strong enough to face it even if it was only a dream. I told my very loving and very normal husband about it. I'm so thankful for him. He doesn't get it because he came from a loving, if not always insightful, family. He can't imaging how my family was because my father, in particular, works so hard at hiding things in front of my husband. But he tries to listen and empathize. Maybe your dreaming will help clarify things. I think our brains are so amazing at protecting us. And I hope you have support. I'm new here so I don't know where people are coming from. Peace and blessings!