Pegasus,

I'm so sorry that the medical professionals didn't follow through with the arrangement to have a male doctor do the procedure!! It's so important to those of us who have had traumatic experiences to be in charge of what happens to our bodies. I wonder if they forgot to make a note in the chart that you requested a male. Or perhaps when you made your request, they were only half listening and assumed that since you were a female that you were requesting "female only." In any case, it was a bad screwup on their part, and I am so sorry you got triggered. I would be upset too. Please try not to feel degraded. It's not your fault that you've had trauma or that you dissociate. It is not a fault or bad. It's how you learned to cope. Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you. What can you do now to help the little girl inside you feel safe?