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May 27, 2009, 02:22 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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Sillycat, 
This all sounds very anxiety provoking for you, and from what you wrote it sounds like you are having symptoms of anxiety.
Lying, as a behavior, can sometimes become a compulsion which is an irresistible persistent impulse to perform an act. This does not make you a bad person, it makes you a person with some behaviors that need some attention.
I think a positive thing for you to notice is that you can see how this has affected your life and how it can impact others. And even though you don't understand it yet, you are willing and able to admit that it can be problematic.
In regards to the incident where you think you may have had your drink spiked. It is unfortunate that this does happen in this world and that people can be taken advantage of when they are under the influence of mind altering substances. It sounds as though you may be trying to convince yourself you are lying so maybe you don't have to face the fear and anxiety that comes with thinking that maybe you weren't lying and these things actually took place. I don't know though, just my opinion.
Before you discard your experience, whatever it was, as "I must have been just lying about it", I strongly urge you to speak with someone professionally. Find a licensed therapist and discuss all of these issues with them. Discuss the incidences of lying in your past, when they started, what you remember about them and how this is making you feel now, and discuss the incident where your drink may have been spiked. I think this is an important issue that deserves to be investigated further, if only for your own piece of mind.
I think this will be helpful for you in reaching some better understanding of yourself that can help you work towards preventing the lying from starting back up, and helping with any anxiety that comes with these fears.
I admire the fact that you are able to come to grips with these issues and talk about them here. But I do think you would benefit from speaking with a therapist.
Keep us posted on how you're doing, if you are comfortable, and I will support you as you move towards a more healing place.
It sounds like you've already come a long way in just identifying and noticing you behaviors. Good work on that!!
Take care, 
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