Why am I so co-conscious with Little Manda? Is it a good thing or a bad thing that I can be "big Manda" on the outside and "little Manda" on the inside? It might be because I live with my husband's family, but I am very good at keeping little Manda hidden. I can act all "big" on the outside and no one has any idea that little Manda is out on the inside. Does that make sense? We feel like we are constantly hiding, but I am not sure if I am hiding or she hiding. Why is this so hard? We don't like it!!! I wish I could either be big Manda or Little Manda... not both at the same time.