Halliebeth, that is exactly the kind of thing that your T needs to know so that you can be helped. It isn't by itself a reason to put you back in the hospital, but it is serious. Even if you aren't going to end your life within those time-frames where you don't expect yourself to follow through, that expectation is going to keep you from accomplishing the things that you can achieve in your life, that would help you to find meaning in your existance. Talk to T about it, ok? I'm glad you mentioned it here. I think it is very important.