Welcome, Rachel, the yutzman here, and I've read your post.....and find it so much like my own experience of life......and feel like a failure too...in my own world....I don't have kids....or a partner (right now)...but the symptoms of depression are the same.... and half a world away I can say....welcome.....I can give reassurance to you in your plight right now and say

...post back.........................
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And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too...I'll see you on the darkside of the moon......